Reason

The greatest of all the pain finally hit it's satisfaction.One of the fastest ejections of all the time,the hero was out from the Divine hole .  Nothing special happened that day. Sun rose in the east, day was exact twenty four hours, 1,234 road accidents,  no India Pakistan war started. But, a wind from east did hit hard on that hospital wall . But, foundation was strong enough and it survived the attack from east and saved a massacre. It was like the womb didn't want to carry him no longer. His mother emptied herself so fast, and it was not her fault. Nobody want to carry him longer, he was such a kind of jerk. No one can hold him in their mind because he was born to be hated.  A hero that everyone hates. A story that nobody wants to listen.

Like most of the kids, he was come out with a crying face, cracking voice and a vulgar look. He was out with a license to fool around.  He holds the winning card, but life turned its back on him. Maybe , better say he, our hero, was little bit different. He went to the back side of life and opened his eyes. How can we blame life for his mistake. He was terrified by the greatest dungeon of life. He never saw the mountains of victory in the front side.  He was like a person who try to think  different. Like, if an ass come first and a hole second he, our dearest hero call it as holeass and that makes a real difference in the real world.

He always dreamed about being the protecter of his nation, the savior of the poorest.  But fate made him as the king of fooldom.  the king of loss, the king of ignorance. He was always defeated by humiliation . He never became a hero in his real life.  failed ignored , humiliated mind  exploded one day. He drilled his rusted brain with a metal piece which was traveled at a velocity of 173mps. That was more than enough to  make a small hole in this universe. The void he left remains unrecognized. No one want to occupy that dirty void in this universe. The smoking  gun laughed to him. he waved his hands to this world, like a boy waving his hands to a moving train. Just in vain.

Its all about music..ithink!

Today, my topic is about music. It's a cheap act, to number music, i know. But, after seeing all those 'must heard' music lists i thought about preparing my own list. Please let me, its my ardent desire, blah! Well, I'm nothing and i don't know about music at all. I don't even know how to keep a guitar in my hand. But, music according to me is my addiction. It's my medicine and its my companion. It's a best cure to those who are suffering with this loneliness crap. To me, with a cigarette in my lips and music in my ear when no one around, a starry night must be perfect. I mean it like 'fucking awesome' thing. Man, I'm really missing those days. Now, life is crap in a room in front of a computer, writing blog by numbering music and craps like that, it feels like a hell outta damn world, you don't know it. I'm suffering now.Can you feel it? C'mon, how can you , it was a stupid question. I apologize. Man,the last few years, damn. The life was not easy and it was not filled with happiness and all those stuff. Who fuck with this happiness crap? I hate it being too much happy, anyway. My life was good because it was with full freedom that i lived. I don't think you got what i meant. Well, I don't wanna think about it, it will spoil me. So, don't expect more. ok! 

Sorry, I'm not here to shit about my past years anyway . But actually I'm thinking about this problem. I'm always deviating from the main topic. Maybe its a horrible disease and medical science had already put some goddamn  name for it. Well, I need to find it and want to learn how to pronounce it anyway. So music, its difficult job to categorize them, to me what keeps my feelings OK is good music. Favorite list may vary b'coz I'm not a robot. The list I'm gonna make today is based on my experience with music till today. Maybe, you can't agree with this. Of course you can speak about it but remember one thing its my list in my fucking blog. Love to music may vary from person to person. But, till last year i was not aware about this bad music stuff. According to me, the music was either good or not good, but then, SILSILA came. Now, i know about the worst part of music, anyway. Whats my point is if you are not good at making music don't force your body to make it. It means 'Don't Kill' music in a way. 

Well, my journey was from Malayalam film and devotional songs to Hindi and tamil film songs to Pop songs to Punk rock to metal to heavy metal to Death metal to Gothic metal to Melodic death metal to folk metal to jazz to soul music to compositions  to blah to blah to blah. I think now i can make a list of my own b'coz I'm confident enough in music  when no musicians around. Common dude, I'm not going to sing a song. Just making a list taking the song sung by others,ok! Don't panic. Here goes my list I'm not sure about the number of songs, well lets see.

The "Majority-Minority" game

Its Anna Hazare, the hot topic since last few days! He is every where..! Now i think its little bit overrated . I know people, like me, they dont like these overrated things. You know what, we are a generation want to think differently from the Majority. Like, Sachin Tendulkar and MS Dhoni are overrated. So we support Rahul Dravid.(Hes a Legend but not overrated and whatever im his big fan). Like Christano Ronaldo and L Messi are overrated and we support D Forlan and A Iniesta. (Fact is i am a fan of Messi but not Ronaldo). Its like staying with minority when a huge crowd is with somebody else. Better say, being an odd. I'm one among them, i always wanted to be an odd. I preferred minority than majority but about this Anna Hazare thing is different.

After reading the Arundhathi Roy's article from "The Hindu" , i have seen many of my friends posted the article 'I'd rather not be Anna'  on their FB wall with an attitude of 'its better not support Anna' . Arundhathi Roy is a good writer, i swear and 'God of small things' is one of my favorite book. And she is a good human activist too, she gave all her Booker prize money to the poor and struggling and she always be there with humanity and all. But, this Anna Hazare thing is different dear. Yes, I know about the Iron Lady of Manipur and i wrote about her in my blog(10 years; a struggle for Justice) last year. And  the difference in Sharmilas fast and Hazares fast is she is  fighting for 'humanity' and Hazare is fighting for the 'money' in the same country where human life has the value of nothing. So, no wonder why Hazare received such a great support. People are curious about their money and their patriotism doesn't allow them to sleep in their house when an old Gandhian fasting against corruption when the country is sinking with corruption. So the streets are filled with the 'common people'(who is said to carry the greatest power in democracy) of India.

I'm not blaming this nation as 'inhuman' but what is the ultimate reason for this poverty and the craps that Arundhati Roy screamed about. It's nothing but corruption. Corruption is as dangerous as Pakistan and China. (please don't mind. an INDIAN view). If the politicians were good then all those problems that Roy pointed out could be limited to some extent.  Instead of not saying 'I'd rather not be Anna' , its the better time to start a change. Everybody is screaming for a change and what the fucking use of just screaming if you have a better situation to act. Or just screaming and publishing the Inner scream become a part of our attitude? We dream about Bhagat Singhs to reborn and bring a sudden change, but the fact is it took years to the the dawn of freedom. What if everybody took a gun instead of  flags for a quick change? How to hang all the corrupted people? It's impossible and this is a better solution, the cure for a dying democracy.

Remember this date, August 16th 2011, the world's most populous democracy is raped and murdered by  the same bunch of criminals(I told it in my previous post) in India. We call them as politicians but beneath the white shirt they carry the seeds of corruption. This government has no right to continue, they send an innocent Gandhian to the same place where the the culprits of Indias greatest scams belongs. How dare they done this? We gave them the fucking power to govern us and now they are sitting on our face and shitting on our mouth.
This UPA government has absolutely no right to continue. This is the beginning  of  the end of this government. People of India will remember this date.They will come to us and lick our leg for vote or else where the fuck else they go? This is a fucking democratic country, they forgot it.

India, the worlds most populous democracy now changed a lot from its ethics. If you want your rights today you have to pay bribe to those rascals who were meant to serve you. What if you have no money to pay, those motherfuckers will delay your rights to their wish. What a goddamn pathetic condition is that? Its better call back that British assholes who ruled us before. At least we can blame somebody else outside the country for fuck sake. Everything political is rotten here, the constitution has lost its value.  I'm not here to support or blacken any political party but I have to say this if they have no hidden agenda or if they have nothing to hide from us or their leaders are the Mr. Cleans of the country then why the hell they denied the demands of Uncle Hazare? Its is my, the common mans, duty to support him this anti corruption movement because i don't want my son or daughter to suffer in future. The bill must be passed with full of it means because now this Government doing crap to the people of this country. Corruption is every where. Price increasing and value decreasing. If one day all the 1,000 rupee notes where called back, these politicians and their supporters will be in trouble. They know it. So they will not allow any Hazare or Ramdev to go for a strike.


Democracy is killed today, the freedom to protest is questioned. Worlds most populous democracy is sinking to the bottom. We don't want out country in the bottom of the 'Corruption Perception Index'. In 2010 we got 87th position from 178 countries. I cant Imagine where it will go in 2011 because we got our 'top' corruptions in 2011. My country is sinking; i hate it. . This is not a simple game or reality show, i know it fucker. I want my country at top in every means. I called it as patriotism. But today a bunch of motherfuckers done it bad. I hate it in every means. Forgive me motherland, i voted wrong: twice. But i will remember this date. Anna Hazare is not just a man, its an Idea. The Idea that Gandhi followed.. If people have the greatest power in democracy, then the idea will rise up and shine..They cant keep an idea in prison..!

" Truth Alone Triumphs "

This is aboutone month; the last Mumbai blast was on 13/7/2011.
Everybody forgot the 21(Please, number doesnt matter) scapegoats and their family .
How many died doesn't matter. They were gone; the departed.
Who the fuck cares..! I'm safe and my dear ones too..! I hope thats the case of you too..! So, what..Just shut up and count your fucking money.

How many arrested? Do you ever think about it..?I found nothing on news papers...!

I found this funny thing while browsing..!
One social fucker with a very low voice.." When the fuck will India be safe" ?(read it like you are very sad and almost crying,ok? )

and the funny answer. " Just after(like two or three days) the blast man" (read it like you have 100% confidence level. b'coz you just read a truth)

With my common sense, im sure we will get another "flash news" soon. This government will play the dirtiest game to stop the activities of our new 'uncle' (the man with a mission) bocz they are sure about the support he have. So to stop him, if 1000 life is needed they will do it bcoz they know they have a mask on their face. The politics is worst now. Just keep your common sense and morals in a bag and accept the craps or die is an ordinary situation here.

I'm not the supporter of any political party but the the government right now governing India is a bunch of criminals(not everybody, but very few stay outside) who were obsessed with money. Corruption is at its peak level and everything is rotten now. I seriously doubt that the last blast in Mumbai was just a cheap drama of politics to make a smoke of fear around in the heart of the people. Why i thought like it b'coz, till now no terrorist group did take the charge of that blast and nobody is even pointed out. Why? If this is the case of India's Largest city then I can't even think about other cities and the poor people living out there. What ever happens! the poor and common people will lost their money and life . the big shots remains the same. Remember one thing. We give them the power, its our fucking vote that counted..

Its our 64th I-DAY. What difference its gonna make by hosting a flag and singing patriotic songs on that day? Love for ones ancestry , homeland or the culture is something we have to carry on our mind. Its something that reflects through our activities and craps like that. But, today at this moment of time, Patriotism is all about two days. People share craps on that days , like posters of our flag and quotes from some patriotic songs and all that kind of stuffs and the remaining 363 days, Gandhi is just about some roads or places or the hairless head on the papers. We want our country to be like 'Singapore' and we shit on our streets and steal from our brothers. If there is no 'Facebook or twitter or Google plus , how do we show our Patriotism? Think about it...! Before supporting some political shit heads or the combination of some English alphabets , think about the country first. Think about your priority lists first! We don't want this growth; rich getting richer and poor getting poorer..! We want equality in real, not in papers. We want a strong constitution here right now, not just in papers. We don't want to see our brothers or sisters in street eating rotten food. We want our India back, where the truth alone triumphs; where 'unity in diversity' nurtured. This is not my India i'm living now, this is not my India i have read about..! I want it back; I support the cause you stands for Uncle Hazare!! Jai Ho

the Negative side

Now, at this moment,  all i can say about 'life' is its negative side. Man, life is a helluva journey from one disaster to another and to another and to another. I swear, places change but situations not.  Life seems to be like a fucking hell, full of water and all. I don't know how to swim. I just know to scream like a bastard. I feel like sitting in a lonely goddamn sea-shore, watching the deep sea infront of me and going to the bottom of it. Man, its scary like hell at the bottom, i can feel it.

Its like feeling lonely, but the truth is im not alone..But i feel it like that or i want it like that? helloutta confusing! it seems like the entire goddamn things in front of me is twisting like whirl or something like that. It feels like all the goddamn people outthere laughing at me like some crazy bastards. I want  nobody around me. I want to be  alone in a desert or somewhere else like a fucking desert, where only sands but no people and all. I felt like this because i really dont have anything to share or talk or laugh or craps like that. I just have some rotten stories of myown thats is not at all interesting. Its a helloutta life, i swear. Life is worst, i dont want o talk. I dont want  people to know how sad i am. I really dont like people looking at me like i had pissed in my pants. I dont want anybody around me . And i dont want the fucking help and sympathy that anybody offers. I would rather die than living like a begger, but i dont wanna die now. Life is not worth living but, i dont wanna die and im not going to die. I want to meet more assholes and visit more rotten places.

Whatever crap, life will change oneday because i know it. I was happier before. Its not a sci-fi movie or im not superstitious. So how the fuck i know? Life is a crap, just like seasons. It will change periodically. But the fact about life is you dont know when the fuck it will change. I t will change..Some says, that's the beauty of life.  What fucking beauty it brings? Nothing is beautiful. Everything in this world is either ugly or not ugly.  

ഒരു പൊഴിഞ്ഞ ഇലയെ പോലെ

തിരിച്ചറിയാന്‍ കഴിയാതെ അവര്‍ എന്നെ തെരുവിലിട്ടു.

പൊഴിഞ്ഞുവീണ ഒരു ഇല എന്ന ലാഖവത്തോടെ അവര്‍ എന്നെ ചവട്ടി അരച്ചു.

'ഞാന്‍ ആര് ' എന്നു തിരഞ്ഞു അവര്‍ നടന്നു നാളുകള്‍. 

 ഞാനും ഒരു അരാജകവാദി ആയിരുന്നു , നിങ്ങളെ പോലെ.

മാനുകള്‍ ഇല്ലാത്ത ഒരു കാലത്തെ ഞാന്‍ മുന്‍പില്‍ കണ്ടു ..

വിഷം തീണ്ടിയ മാനുകളെ,

 മയക്കത്തിലായ കാടു ഭക്ഷിച്ചിരിക്കാം എന്നു ഞാന്‍ കരുതി..!

പട്ടികള്‍ പെരുകുന്ന ഈ നാട്ടില്‍ ഞാന്‍ എന്താണ് സ്വപ്നം കാണേണ്ടത് ?

സങ്കല്‍പ്പിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയില്ല എനിക്ക്  ഈ കാലത്തെ പറ്റി ...

ശ്വസിക്കുന്ന വായുവിനു നികുതി കൊടുക്കേണ്ടി വരുന്ന മാനവരാശിയുടെ  കാലം 

മുലപ്പാല്‍ അളന്നു കൊടുക്കുന്ന അമ്മമാരുടെ കാലം. 

താരാട്ടിന്റെ താളതകര്ച്ചക്ക് അമ്മയെ കുറ്റം പറയുന്ന ഉണ്ണികളുടെ കാലം...

ഒരു ബീജമായി അഴുക്കു ചാലുകളില്‍ ഉറങ്ങാന്‍ കഴിഞ്ഞില്ല എനിക്ക്.

ഒരു മരമായി വളര്‍ന്നു പോയി ഞാന്‍ ഈ ഭൂമിയില്‍. 

തണല്‍ നല്കി നിങ്ങള്ക്ക് ഞാന്‍ വേണ്ടുവോളം.

ഒടുവില്‍ , ഒരു ഇലയായി ഈമണ്ണില്‍ അറ്റുവീണൂ .

പക്ഷെ , തിരിച്ചറിയാന്‍ കഴിയാതെ പോയി നിങ്ങള്ക്ക് എന്നെ . 

എന്റെ മരണം എന്ത് ഉള്ളടക്കതെയാണ് നിങ്ങള്‍ക്കുമുന്പില്‍ തുറന്നു കാട്ടിയതെന്നെനികറിയില്ല.

എന്റെ ജീവിതത്തിലും മനസ്സിലും പുഷ്പിച്ചത് ഒരു മനുഷ്യനാണ് .

എനിക്ക് വേണ്ട ഈ കൊമ്പനാനകളെ ...എനിക്ക് വേണ്ട.

കാരണം , മരിച്ചവരാണ്‌ എപ്പോള്‍ എന്റെ കൂട്ടുകാര്‍. 
തെരുവില്‍ മരിച്ചവന്‍ ആണ് ഞാന്‍ ,
ഒരു പൊഴിഞ്ഞ ഇലയെ പോലെ..